Strike Three's Random Insanity Thread

[MarinersFan87]

I kicked my shoes off in a fit of joy!

[riverdunesrat]

I hit a chick once, the beotch ran out in front of me from behind a bus and had no clue there was traffic coming at her. She was face first across the hood of the pickup like a slaughtered deer. I was freaking the flock out. She fell to the ground, and got up and started to walk away. I grabbed her, asked if she was OK and she said yeah, why? Dumbass. She was SO in denial that she just pulled one of the most bonehead moves of her life. I asked her if she needed help and all she could do was bolt, and she couldn't bolt fast enough. She was either in shock or so totally embarassed she just had to escape.....s'all good to me and I had to go home and change my freaking pants.....

[riverdunesrat]

Originally Posted by ghettochild Who Posted? Total Posts: 746 User Name Posts General 112 missionhockey21 101 DirtyKash 71 Kingdom_of_Zito 70 HuskerFan2002 53 RockSports17 50 awefullspellare 42 Fishercat 39 riverdunesrat 33 Lynch 31 CincyRedsFan30 19 HollywoodLeo 17 ghettochild 17 Porter99 11 Halladay_is_God 8 lester88 8 Element 7 redsrbetter 6 Saber 5 Hmark6 5 .KoBe. 4 aTrUeCUBsFaN 4 browntown653 4 BaseballFanatic 4 griffeyfan3 3 MarinersFan87 3 Dry1313 3 PacMan 3 realmofotalk 2 go_bucs2000 2 Crow 2 Impossibles 1 HafDawg2003 1 Staze19 1 McKain 1 ATLien 1 love_that_reefer 1 guybrush77 1 Show Thread & Close Window

Just had to post pad some......:cool:

[DirtyKash]

Ha, that's great, ghetto. You laughed at the sight of a man getting hit by a car. You're definitely sick and twisted. +rep.

[ghettochild]

I go to a car accident. I got in this car accident recently right?
Not my fault! This car accident was not my fault.
Right but you know how it goes...Get in a car accident,
even if it is not your fault. The other person, they get out of their car,
look at you like it's your fault. Even if it is CLEARLY their fault,
they get out. They're like. Alright, why did you stop at a red light
and let me hit you doing 80?! WHY DID YOU STOP AT A RED LIGHT?
Then you get out right? You go you start looking at the damage.
You start looking. Keep looking at each other and back at the damage
Will you please come and look at my damage with me sir?
If we look together maybe some magic will happen.
This is horri- feel this! This even feels damaged!
Do you have tools, can you fix this right now?
This is horribly- this feels so horribly damaged.
Even if I was blind I would know this is horribly damaged,
by the way it feels.

Then you gotta exchange the information right?
That sucks cuz nobody ever has a ****ing pen. You stand there.
Do you have a pen- I don't have a pen...Can you remember all my shit?
Do you have a lipstick or something? A crayon?
Right? So when you finally... here's what happens.
You finally get information going and you print your stuff nice and clean.
There you go..there's my. I highlight. Everything's nice.
You give him the... there you go. It's in an envelope. Ugh yeah.
Nice and - But then you get their information and it looks like,
they were having a ****ing seizure while writing it.
You're like dude you got like a 28 digit phone number going on here buddy.
And under name you drew a picture of a monkey ****ing a coconut.
What is that? Is your name Monkey ****ing a coconut sir? MFC? is that you?
MFC? That's a monkey... that could be a melon looks like a coco-nut.
Then you take a second..here's where it starts getting embarrasing right?
You take a second while you're doing the exchange.
You just look around for a second and there's people EVERYWHERE.
They're like building bleachers on the sidewalk and shit.
People coming out of bushes... What? Accident?
I'm gonna watch for awhile! Wow! They're discussing it right there!

[General]

My iPod came in today. 30 gig, video, black with my name engraved on the back.

I don't want to talk about the tennis match.

[Dry1313]

DK lmao he's quoting Dane Cook,

[DirtyKash]

Child Sees Hardcore Porn On Cincinnati Public Access TV

UPDATED: 1:01 pm EDT April 10, 2006

CINCINNATI -- Don and Terri Newbauer's daughter, Nicole, was flipping through the television channels on Saturday looking for Channel 26 in Cincinnati.

Instead, she found hardcore pornography on Adelphia Cable's public access Channel 2, which generally airs videotapes provided by individuals or community groups.

"And she says, 'You have to see Channel 2.' We turn it on and it's like -- whoa!" said Don Newbauer. "It was disgusting. It was the hardest-core stuff I've ever seen."

Newbauer said he immediately called Adelphia and asked the phone representative, "What kind of smut are you guys putting on Channel 2?"

Newbauer said the cable company's representative blamed the problem on local programming that Adelphia does not control.

"So, I started describing what was on and he says, 'I don't want to hear this disgusting stuff,'" said Newbauer. "I told him that I don't want this disgusting stuff coming in on my cable."

Terri Newbauer recorded some of what aired and then called police.

"All he told me is, 'Yes, there's hardcore porn on the television. We know about it. The telephone lines at Adelphia are blocked up and nobody can get through. We're working to get it off your television,'" she said.

Adelphia told WLWT-TV in Cincinnati that all videos aired on cable access are screened, and that Saturday's tape -- of go-kart racing -- was screened for the full amount of time it was scheduled to run.

Adelphia said screeners did not watch the rest of the tape that contained about 18 to 20 minutes of pornographic material -- all of which aired on Sunday.

An Adelphia spokesman said the cable company takes great measures to detect any problems with community access programming and apologizes to customers for the technical error.

Don Newbauer said he and his family are still upset by what they saw.

"There has to be responsibility. Somebody's got to step up to the plate and be accountable," said Don Newbauer.

"They should have immediately taken it off and not waited 25 minutes," Nicole Newbauer said.

[General]

ATL posted this at TNF:

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

[RockSports17]

Ooh...I've heard that joke so many times, and it gets a laugh out of me everytime.

[CincyRedsFan30]

DK, thanks for posting that, lol.

That is causing a bit of an uproar in town. Quite a number of angry individuals.

[Porter99]

[Fishercat]

Love Calvin and Hobbes