Navy bashing jokes

[henks]

These are for fun, if you take offense, cry me a river, build a bridge, then get over it.


On a naval carrier there's a Navy Captain, an Army Colonel, an Air Force Colonel and a Marine Colonel. They’re arguing which service has the most guts. Finally, the Navy Captain says watch this...he shouts Seaman, MAN OVERBOARD! High in the crow's nest a sailor dives from the nest into water and dies instantly. The Navy Captain satisfied with what he saw replied, See, that took guts. The Army Colonel responded by rolling a live grenade and shouting, GRENADE! A Private ran and threw his body on the grenade, shielding everyone from the explosion, and died. The Army Colonel satisfied replied, That took guts. The Marine Colonel ordered his Private to aim his weapon and shoot him, the Marine Colonel, right between the eyes. Just before the Private fired a second Private got between the colonel and the bullet dying instantly. The Marine Colonel satisfied said, That took guts. The Air Force Colonel shouted, Airman come here! The Airman replied, F*@k You! The Air Force Colonel said, That took GUTS

ok so a sailor walks into the bathroom to take a pizz in his dress uniform and there is a little boy standing at the sink. The sailor looks at the little boy and says how would you like to wear my hat. the little boy smiles and cant wait to say yea yea I’d love to. The sailor places the hat on the little boy then continues about his business. meanwhile the little boy is admiring himself in the mirror, when a Airman walks in. he takes one good look at the little boy and says how would you like to suck my d**k? the little boy then replies, oh no sir I’m not a real Sailor he's over there.

Ok so black airman, a white solider, and a Latino marine are sitting a bar when the airman blurts out it is true what they say about black men, we do have the biggest penis. Both the solider and Marine disagree with him Then the solider tells the other two that it is true that country boys are the most blessed when it comes to penis size. Both the airman and the marine disagree, when the marines says I don’t know what you two are talking about no one talks about us Latinos, that cause everyone know we have the biggest penis. All three guys start to argue when the bar keep comes over and says why don’t you all put this to rest and pull them out and prove it. The airman quickly starts to un-zip his pants than the other two fallow. All three men put there penis on the bar when a sailor walks in and says “YUM A BUFFET”

Why do you call Navy cops condoms?
-Because they catch seamen


Who invented powdered soap?
-The Navy because it's hard as hell to pick up in the shower.

God bless the men and women who serve!

[HollywoodLeo]

On a naval carrier there's a Navy Captain, an Army Colonel, an Air Force Colonel and a Marine Colonel. They’re arguing which service has the most guts. Finally, the Navy Captain says watch this...he shouts Seaman, MAN OVERBOARD! High in the crow's nest a sailor dives from the nest into water and dies instantly. The Navy Captain satisfied with what he saw replied, See, that took guts. The Army Colonel responded by rolling a live grenade and shouting, GRENADE! A Private ran and threw his body on the grenade, shielding everyone from the explosion, and died. The Army Colonel satisfied replied, That took guts. The Marine Colonel ordered his Private to aim his weapon and shoot him, the Marine Colonel, right between the eyes. Just before the Private fired a second Private got between the colonel and the bullet dying instantly. The Marine Colonel satisfied said, That took guts. The Air Force Colonel shouted, Airman come here! The Airman replied, F*@k You! The Air Force Colonel said, That took GUTS

I've heard this joke 1,000 times.

Only it was the seaman telling the Admiral to **** off.