A Sport Named Fantasy

You wonder how it's possible for a concept, a game, an accepted part of geekdom and fan crazed mania could be a living entity. Perhaps it's just absurd that names and numbers could breathe, but yet somehow it does.

Fantasy sports will be forever defined by most women as that thing that the men do that consume their lives at various times of the year, or perhaps their entire life. For some, fantasy sports are a casual fare or nothing at all. For most, it's up there with life, death, and taxes. I'm betting that 90% of you on the forums have either tried fantasy sports, especially baseball, or still actively participate in fantasy sports. While it may be mostly made up males, there are women who dabble in the hobby (ESPN.com employs Stephania Bell, who specializes in physical therapy and does injury reports for the fantasy world on rotowire, espn.com, and XM radio as well as espn.com podcasts). And it's just not men that do fantasy sports these days. Kids are breaking into the world of sports through fantasy leagues. Homework these days doesn't just include math, science and English, but also Matthew Berry's daily podcast and whatever the Hell is going on Yahoo! dot com. It's become an accepted practice across the globe, you're considered weird if you don't know what fantasy sports are.

To think this all started with a group of guys in a room, with pens and pads and probably a chalk board or dry erase board handy. The internet wasn't really something commercial then, so you can imagine the work people put into running fantasy leagues and teams. Imagine having to purchase newspapers from all over the United States just to keep tabs on players. Imagine if they didn't have ESPN. A bunch of guys, in a room, throwing around money because well, they wanted to. It's the closest to ever becoming a manager or general manager. They had the power to start who they wanted, when they wanted. They had power, to an extent. But like I said, think of the great lengths one had to go to for information. Well, we certainly take that for granted. It's not just having yahoo.com, espn.com, cnnsi.com, google.com, but the fact we have ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPNU, and ESPN News, as well as ESPN in other countries and ESPN Classic. On top of that, you can access almost any major newspaper in the country. Informaton for fantasy sports is at the palm of your hand, or really, the tip of your finger. Instantly, you know if Todd Helton is healthy, starting today, how he favors in certain matchups, what he ate for breakfast, how long it takes for him to urinate, and what color pen he used to autograph some lady's arm. It's all there, with ease. You can't ignore the information associated with fantasy sports, and how important it is to the people that religiously participate. It's the Bible. It's everywhere.

It grips us like a nightmare. No, it's a farce that a virus will turn us all into zombies (Dawn of the Dead), mindless killers (28 Days Later), Vampire like beings (I Am Legend). The real threat is a world being consumed by fantasy drafts, fantasy scoring, and fantasy trades. You can't hide. And you can't rest. This living, breathing entity exists every day of the year. It will not take Christmas, 4th of July, Labor Day or Thanksgiving (or Boxing Day) off. Why? It starts with baseball, which you know heats up in March and ends in October. But during this time, the NHL and NBA are in the mid of seasons. April sees the beginning of insanity for fantasy football with the epic NFL Draft. Who knew there would be something longer than Pirates of the Caribbean 3? That only sets up August, and on through to the cold months of January. Of course, during the NFL season, NBA and NHL begin. And the NBA fantasy land has risen from the ashes thanks to a wave of young talent. Does it stop? Never. The four major sports were the first fantasy victims. Next came NASCAR, the PGA, MLS, Tennis and apparently even pro wrasslin like the WWE. Nope, not done yet. College sports offers fantasy pick 'ems. And March Madness has the brackets. The brackets. The ultimate word in fantasy. Brackets. Fantasy breathes into us every damn day because at one time, you could have 4-5 sports on. And it's not like we usually JUST settle on ONE team. We have to juggle multiple fantasy teams in multiple sports. The circus is in town, maybe you ought to sign up.

It's addicting. Because life is not made of money. But we have to throw it around. Fantasy sports offers up the free stuff, on some occaison the possibility of winning prizes and then there are leagues where you pay. You buy players. Curt Schilling is the hooker named Sally and you just spent five bucks for his DL'ed ass. That's how it is. There's fantasy drafts and then there's fantasy auctions. Apparently Joba Chamberlain runs you over 20 dollars these days. A reliever. Who was -NEXT-. But is still a reliever. Not a starter, not a closer, just the setup guy. But he's -NEXT-. So he's worth a pizza. God knows what Alex Rodriguez or Chase Utley went for, and somewhere Prince Fielder is thinking he wasn't auctioned off for enough. Why, when the economy is royally busted, gas prices hitting record highs and the cost of milk is absurd, would we spend so much money on names and stats? Is it worth the risk, for whatever the reward might be? There are experts in this field you know. The addiction is a wildfire and it spreads. Guess what, the athletes we own in fantasy leagues are in fantasy leagues themselves. But usually it's the excuse that a baseball player says "oh I'm only in football leagues" or a basketball player saying he only does baseball leagues. Oh you know they carry around laptops and when they have time, they do a little browsing. Should it be surprising? Should it bother you?

Life breathes a new field. Get this, the fantasy entity created jobs. No really. Yes it's experts like Matthew Berry and Brandon Funston, and many others, that are paid to be like an Andy Katz, Peter Gammons, or Mel Kiper Jr. for something that's not real but technically is real. Did Bill James pick the wrong profession? But consider it's not just those expert analysts posting on Yahoo! or ESPN, but the programmers and software developers that thought of everything we get on Yahoo! and ESPN. That job didn't exist decades ago. But some lucky smart people got a good break and a career out of the Fantasy Entity. Fantasiology will be the next step, offered at universities all across the world. How far does this go? What's next in the world of fantasy sports? How far do we take this, or how far does fantasy sports take us?

It doesn't live like a human, but it lives like it has a purpose and belonging in the world. And it's everywhere.

[giantsfan5689]

Excellent job KoZ. Best fantasy sports moment: in Knocked Up, when the wife thinks the guy's cheating but he's really in his fantasy football draft. Hilarious. Only a true fantasy sports fanatic can appreciate that moment.

[ljshorty89]

Wonderfully written. Nice job Zito!

[Dry1313]

FTIIL

That's all I read

[redsrbetter]

Great work KOZ!

I think I took late to the whole fantasy thing. Matter of fact, this is my first fantasy baseball season. Last season, was my first football fantasy season. I guess the sim leagues here got me much more interested in the whole thing.

I love the concept though. Its an advanced way to be a fan. To me, it could be defined as a gimmick that has given fans a reason to become more involved. Frankly, I hate Todd Helton, but I hope he rakes this year as he is my backup 1B.

The best part about fantasy baseball is that we as fans love to complain about player moves like trades and free agent signings and we explain that we can do so much better than the guy that is really payed to do it. Now is your chance to show your GM skills. Not only are you a fan of a player, but now this makes you become a fan of the business side of sports. Can you afford the SP that would put you ober the hump? Or will you just bid on your luck with what you have and keep your money in your wallet for that Pizza KOZ mentioned in his article?

Great stuff my man

[Kingdom_of_Zito]

I should have gone into sim leagues too. Perhaps another day and time.